Some Favourite Text Messages

Me: Every time I walk past the bush containing your underwear, it brightens up my day.
Man #2: They radiate happiness.
Me: Is that a result of nuclear decomposition, do you think?
Man #2: Yes. My penis is capable of acting as the core to a nuclear reactor.
Me: That explains so much about you.
Man #2: Especially my glowing, hairless groin.
Me: I can see how that would be an advantage.
Man #2: I keep it in a lead sheath. If you ever need chemo for cervical cancer, just call me up.
Me: Oh I will. Rawr. If you ever meet someone else with a similar situation, you could have light saber battles.