"Sup sexy?" "Nothing. Just being sexy at my house."
"Ah [Keystone] Ice. The piss of the worst. Congrats, you are definitely in college."
"Everyone was really impressed that I could drink tequila straight... then I brought Shawn home."
Re: my mother - "She bore you so I hold no grudge."
Re: my bra - "Never! It is my arch nemesis!"
"I prefer sleeping with you to sleeping without you." "And I prefer having you within arms' length."
Someone of absolutely no consequence - with an affinity for cake - says things that sometimes make sense.
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